rickety bridge

well, in the midst of rejoicing over being issued visas, we received some unfortunate news. . . the chinese government has decided that it doesn't want us to conduct the 2nd annual HP cultural exchange.

grrr. it's not like we had spent hours preparing stuff for the two weeks we would be there, but we did have some pretty cool plans. cool english lessons. fun games and teambuilding activities. a dance party with booty shakin', boot-scootin' good music. fun crafts. cardgames. hanging out. dinners in students' homes. the couch restaurant (only the best chinese food in the country!!). 168 stairs every nite to get home. . .

hold on loosely. be flexible. this is what i've told my team repeatedly.

but when i have to put that into practice, i realize how firmly i've been holding on to what we were going to do. i had already hugged our students from last year. i had already sung wo ai ni to the students in a talent show like i promised them i would do last year. i had already walked up and down the streets of HP and imagined how we would "ni hao" everyone on our way to school each morning. right after we would stop for a little bing shway (sorry, it's a phoenetical spelling, not the real deal) and sugar-filled bun for breakfast.

so our plans are changing. but we're still going. and we're still doing what he has called us to go there to do. so really our plans aren't really all that different. we're still going to show what it's like to have his skin. . . and to love in his name. 

time

time is really a weird thing. 

i can imagine as my friend christa was huddling close with her children after racing down 22 flights of stairs during an earthquake, five minutes can seem like an eternity.

or when you have to use the restroom really badly, and the door to the restroom is locked. someone volunteers to go back to the controlroom for the key, but the three minutes it takes them to get back with the key is absolutely forever. forever!

but when you have a mountain of work that needs to get completed or "farmed out" in the next 12 days in addition to shopping, packing, planning, leading. . . time slips through my fingers like the white sand in destin. (ahhhh, the beach! but alas, i digress)

time. i don't have near enough of it, and yet, i still waste what little i have.

there's the paradox.

hyperventilation and insomnia

it's been forever since i've blogged. i wish i had a really good excuse. well, i do have a couple, but they're still not exactly earthshattering.
our family has been through two proms, ACL surgery, finals (while jacked up on painkillers), senior lunches, a baccalaureate, graduation, a bon voyage to young life work crew for a month, a house guest for the past two weeks (and counting) college orientation and preparing for a giving trip to london on july first. all this while trying to shepherd our team through the preparing process.
this is where the hyperventilation comes in.
and the insomnia.

now don't get me wrong. i'm not an untrusting sort of person. especially when our Father is involved. . . but i do have a ton of loose ends flapping in the breeze. . . and not enough hands to grab them.

so we are turning the home stretch. we are finalizing plans. best of all we have everyone's passport in hand WITH the visas attached (no small feat for these olympic times!). support is coming in and all is firming up.

as you are "thinking" about our team. . .
please think about unity, humility, preparation, the ability to PACK LIGHTLY, travel logistics, and all of our families that we leave behind. mercy and grace and all that goes with that!

gather, grow, go. . . all to the glory of G*d

we've gathered. we're growing. preparing to go.
and while we do this, we glorify him every step of the way.
how do we do this?
spend time with him. lots and lots of time.

and prepare.

this week support letters go out. let's be pr*ying about how he will be providing and that folks will walk along side us as we go.

we are meeting this week and preparing our skits for the talent show night. nothing worse than getting there and not having any ideas (crickets chirping). so we prepare and gather our props!

everyone is gathering their favorite w*rship songs so we can prepare effective devo time. yeah!

thanks to damon for reminding me of the G3 4 the G2

a little drama, but what's life without drama?

it's been a weird week, and i'd be lying if i said i understood what exactly is going on. . . i could blame it on the enemy, but then that would mean that i don't really bear any responsibility to what has transpired. . .
however. . .
it's a long story and i won't go into details, but let me at least share a few little life lessons. . .
a) communication is such a good thing. in fact, i'm pretty sure that one can't overcommunicate.
b) drama is best left alone to wither and die in a corner by itself.
c) trying to push things to suit my own desires has the net effect of spitting into the wind. yuck.
d) trusting and relying on God. . . you just know that God is up there going, "yeah, how about that? DUH!"
e) open hands. this is not my deal or my team's deal, but HIS deal. HIS! so hello. . . let go and let HIM hold it! (again, another head-slapping DUH)
so a bit of a weird week, but i'm thinking that learning to get on the ole knees and be listening and trusting Him a bit more. . . well, i can imagine that this is a good thing!

tix

we have tickets. so that means we're really going. and that means i have over $14,000 on my american express card. yikes!
so i better get writing.
support is such a wonderful act of believing in the one who sends us... but it is so incredibly difficult to ask.
yes... we're going. will you join us?

overwhelmed

last night, our church had "china night" where they highlighted two different areas of china (urban and rural) and gave us a report card on how effective our efforts there have been over the last ten years. 
it was alot of information. and the video made me long to go back. it was so great to hear them speaking chinese and seeing places that i've been. the greens of the terraced rice beds reaching up the mountains. the faces. the opportunities. i cannot wait to go back.
my mind and heart were so overwhelmed with what i saw and heard last night that sleep eluded me. my mind was going a million miles a minute as i thought about all the things we need to prepare. . . then i became overwhelmed by all the things still undone from my trip last year.
i only have about two thousand photos still to wade through. and i'd love to put together a visual diary of our time there. and find an interesting way to tell the stories we collected there.
i'm dealing with perfectionism here. of waiting until all the pieces are in place before i tell.
i'm also dealing with the sin of trying to do everything under my own power.
this was what Papa told me in the wee hours of the morning. i'm like a toddler screaming "me do it!!" when He is telling me, "no, let me. give it to me, and i'll handle it."
so rather than eat an elephant in one bite, i'm going to make a list of old business and new. and i'll begin to check things off my list. one by one.
and the first thing on the list is
pray.
so off i go. i've got some business to take care of with my Papa.