overwhelmed

last night, our church had "china night" where they highlighted two different areas of china (urban and rural) and gave us a report card on how effective our efforts there have been over the last ten years. 
it was alot of information. and the video made me long to go back. it was so great to hear them speaking chinese and seeing places that i've been. the greens of the terraced rice beds reaching up the mountains. the faces. the opportunities. i cannot wait to go back.
my mind and heart were so overwhelmed with what i saw and heard last night that sleep eluded me. my mind was going a million miles a minute as i thought about all the things we need to prepare. . . then i became overwhelmed by all the things still undone from my trip last year.
i only have about two thousand photos still to wade through. and i'd love to put together a visual diary of our time there. and find an interesting way to tell the stories we collected there.
i'm dealing with perfectionism here. of waiting until all the pieces are in place before i tell.
i'm also dealing with the sin of trying to do everything under my own power.
this was what Papa told me in the wee hours of the morning. i'm like a toddler screaming "me do it!!" when He is telling me, "no, let me. give it to me, and i'll handle it."
so rather than eat an elephant in one bite, i'm going to make a list of old business and new. and i'll begin to check things off my list. one by one.
and the first thing on the list is
pray.
so off i go. i've got some business to take care of with my Papa.